


Match Made in Heaven

by blooperboy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Bisexual Male Character, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Implied homophobia, Larry Murphy is a dick, M/M, Soft Connor (Kind of), Treebros - Relationship - Freeform, first work for treebros or just DEH in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 14:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooperboy/pseuds/blooperboy
Summary: Larry Murphy thought that putting his son onto a matchmaking TV show would magically turn him straight. He was wrong.Connor is crushing hard on the adorably anxious cameraman, Evan.CANCELLED AS OF 2/24/18





	1. idk what I'm doing

**Author's Note:**

> this took 2 weeks u better fukin appreciate it

 

 

Honestly, why did they even try anymore. 

 

For the love of god, putting him on a matchmaker TV show would not magically make him straight. In fact, everyone was probably making this worse. The directors were annoying, the girls were pushy, and the cameraman, Evan, was way too adorable. He was probably straight though, so Connor stayed away. 

 

“Alright Connor. We’re bringing out a new set of girls tomorrow. You think you’ll do better this time?” The only decent director, Miles, asked. 

 

Connor sighed. Miles didn’t know why he was there, and it was probably time to tell him. 

 

“Listen Crocker, you’re asking a gay guy to be attracted to girls. It’s not going to happen, but I can pretend.”

 

Miles sighed. “Why are you here then?”

 

“My parents thought that putting me here would magically make me straight. They were wrong.” 

 

Miles nodded. “I understand.”

 

“Just don’t tell them I told you. It was either this or getting kicked out of the house.” Connor explained. Miles gave him a quick nod and walked away. 

 

“Heyyy Connor. Been talking about your crush on Evan?” The lighting guy, Jared, asked. 

 

“What? No! I don’t have a crush on him!” Connor argued. 

 

“Suuuure you don’t. And my name isn’t Jared Kleinman.” 

  
Connor let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when Jared walked away. It was time for him to eat lunch anyways. 

 

He climbed into his car, and old, beat up black jeep, and left the studio parking lot. He absentmindedly turned on the radio as he turned into a Wendy’s parking lot. He slammed the door to his jeep and went inside the restaurant. 

 

The second Connor stepped up to the counter, the cashier squealed. Connor stepped back, startled, as she started jumping up and down. 

 

“You’re Connor Murphy!” She squealed. “From Match Made in Heaven!” 

 

“Yeah.” Connor said, swiping his card and taking his food. 

“Can I get your autograph?” 

 

Of course. Connor sighed and begrudgingly signed a napkin for her. She squealed for the eighth time in five minutes and ran off to go show her friends. 

 

He slumped down in a booth to eat his food when he spotted Evan and Jared sitting at a table across the way. He tried to keep his head low, but Jared made eye contact, strutting over to his booth with Evan following meekly. 

 

“If it isn’t the one and only Connor Murphy, always bringing attention to himself!” Jared exclaimed, causing a bunch of women in the restaurant to turn their heads to look at him.

 

“Fuck off Kleinman.” Connor grumbled. 

 

“Why not? You’re practically a  _ celebrity  _ now.” Jared said, again, very loudly. Now everyone in the room was staring at them. 

 

Connor shrunk down in his seat as the restaurant patrons started chatting among themselves.

 

“J-Jared, you’re making h-him uncomfortable.” Evan spoke. 

 

Connor looked up at Evan and gave him a smile, which the blonde hesitantly returned. Jared groaned.

 

“Can you guys go make goo-goo eyes at each other somewhere else?” He complained, tossing his tray and leaving.

 

“H-He was my r-ride home…” Evan sighed. 

 

“You can hitch a ride with me, I’ve got nothing better to do.” Connor suggested.

 

“R-Really?”

 

Connor nodded and got up to throw away his tray. By the time he got back, Evan was standing by the door, fidgeting with his hands. 

 

“You ready?” He asked. Evan nodded. 

 

Connor led Evan to his car and climbed in, putting the key in the ignition, to see Evan still standing outside the car. He raised an eyebrow.

 

“You coming?” He asked. Evan hastily climbed in the passenger seat. 

 

The two drove in complete silence, Connor only speaking up to ask Evan for his address.

 

“I-I still live with my mom.” He mumbled. 

 

“Yeah, so do I.” Connor replied. 

 

“Sorry i-if this is a weird question, b-but how come you always s-seem so annoyed with the girls o-on the show?” He asked. 

 

Connor sighed. “No matter how hard you try, there’s no way to make a gay man straight, and vice versa. The girls on the show are too pushy anyways. They act like they’re entitled to something from me, and they’re not. To sum it up, I’m gay, and the girls are annoying anyways.”

 

“O-Oh.” Evan said, nodding. “I’m bi.” 

 

Connor’s face lit up like a Christmas tree for a second. 

 

“Could I get your number?” He asked, seeming to be in much better spirits. “You seem like a nice guy, and I’d like to spend more time with you.”

 

“O-Oh! Sure!” Evan typed his number into Connor’s phone and handing it back to him. 

 

“We’re here.” He announced, pulling up to a small, but cozy house. 

 

“Th-Thanks for the ride Connor!” Evan waved as he got out of the car. 

 

“No problem.”

 

A thousand different thoughts flooded through Connor’s head as he drove home. Would Evan want to go out with him? Should they try to be friends first?

 

“CONNOR JAMES MURPHY!”

 

And there’s his dad. 


	2. What am i doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh this took all week

“Connor, Mr. Crocker told me that you couldn’t get along with any of the girls this season.” His father, Larry Murphy, said. “Why is that?”

 

“Because I’m too busy giving the head grip a blowjob to focus on them.” He replied sarcastically. 

 

“Connor, we talked about this…”

 

“I know, mom. I was joking.” He spat, before climbing up to his bedroom.

 

**[Gay(™)]**

**hey evan**

 

**[Cute Cameraman]**

**Hi Connor!**

 

**[Gay(™)**

**wanna grab dinner with me?**

 

**[Cute Cameraman]**

**Sure!**

 

**[Gay(™)]**

**k. meet me at denny's.**

 

**[Cute Cameraman]**

**OK! See you there!**

 

Evan didn’t stutter when he typed. (Of course he didn’t. Why would he type out stuttering?) And overall seemed a lot more confident. 

 

Connor pulled into the parking lot of their local Denny’s an hour later. He was about ten minutes early, but Evan was already standing at the doors. 

 

“Hey Hansen.” 

 

Evan jumped almost a foot in the air and whipped around. Connor had to refrain from laughing. 

 

The two sat down at a booth, across from each other. 

 

“Alright, what do you want?” Connor asked, putting his menu down. 

 

“Th-The shortstack of pancakes looks pretty n-nice.” Evan replied, gripping his arm. Connor saw a long, clean cut scar going down his forearm. 

“Dude, what happened here?” He asked, gesturing to his arm. 

 

“O-Oh...um...you kn-know what? I’ll just tell you. I-It’s from an o-old suicide attempt f-from b-back in high school.” Evan explained. 

 

Connor nodded solemnly. “I’ve been there bud.” He rolled up his sleeves to reveal tons of long healed scars. “Swallowed a bottle of pills first day of senior year. Barely made it out of that one. I’m in kind of a better place now.”

 

The way he said it so calmly seemed to unnerve Evan a bit, then their silence was interuppted by the waitress. 

 

“So, what would you like to drink?” She asked. 

 

“Coffee.” Connor said, looking to Evan. 

 

“And you?”

 

Evan froze up. Everyone’s eyes were on him. He looked to Connor desperately and pointed to something on the menu. Connor nodded and relayed the order to the waitress. 

 

“Too nervous?” He asked. 

 

“Y-Yeah.” Evan replied, playing with his thumbs. 

 

“I understand.”

 

When their drinks came, Connor dumped about eight sugar packets in, to the amusement of Evan, and knocked back about one quarter of it in one gulp. 

 

“OK, needed that energy boost.” He said, his leg bouncing. 

 

“What would you like to eat?” The waitress asked. 

 

“Rainbow sprinkle pancakes for me, and the shortstack for him.” Connor said, passing the menus down. 

 

“Wh-What are y-your interests?” Evan asked, turning his head to look at Connor. 

 

“I draw.” He replied, building a tower out of jelly packets. 

 

Evan pulled out all of his butter and creamer packets to build his own tower. “I like trees.”

 

Connor looked up. “Trees?”

 

“Yeah, trees. I-I can name them by th-their appearances alone.” 

 

“That sounds cool.” 

 

The next ten minutes were spent with Connor showing him pictures of trees, and Evan naming them. He was pretty good at it, only slipping up once or twice.” 

 

“Rainbow sprinkle pancakes and the shortstack.” The waitress said, turning the boys’ attention away from their game. 

 

Evan watched with mild disgust as Connor completely drowned his pancakes in syrup.

 

“The more syrup the better.” He remarked, taking a bite. 

 

Evan poured a bit of syrup on his pancakes and spread it around, then took a bite. 

 

“Oh well you’re no fun.” Connor said jokingly. 

 

Evan chuckled lightly and finished his first pancake. When they were done, Connor walked Evan to his car. 

 

“Hop in, I’ll take you home.” 

 

Evan nodded and climbed into the passenger seat, Connor in the driver’s seat. They chatted a bit on the way home. Connor offered to sketch an oak tree for Evan, which he gratefully accepted. 

 

“See you tomorrow.” Connor said, as Evan climbed out. Evan waved as Connor left his driveway.

 

“Where were you young man?!” Larry asked the second Connor walked in the door. 

 

“I was grabbing dinner with a co-worker.” He replied, setting down his car keys. 

 

“Which co-worker?”

 

“Why do you care?”

  
“Which. Co-worker.”

 

Connor sighed. “Evan. Cameraman.” 

His father nodded and went back to his newspaper, as Connor went upstairs. 


	3. no like seriously what the fuck am i doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hdsivhncubvwrbf thanks for the nice comments guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typed this piece of shit out in like two hours I apologize if it's bad

**[Gay(™)]**

**hey ev**

 

**[Cute Cameraman’s name was changed to Ev <3]**

 

**[Ev <3]**

**Hi Connor!**

 

**[Gay(™)]**

**need you to come save me**

 

**[Ev <3]**

**From what?**

 

**[Gay(™)]**

**my dad**

**i’ll meet you on 7th street**

 

**[Ev <3] **

**OK!!**

 

Right when he pulled up on the corner of 7th street, Connor could see Evan on the street corner. 

 

“Hop in.” He said. 

 

After about an hour of just driving, Connor asked a question. 

 

“Can I stay at your house?” He asked.

 

Evan nodded. “Of course.” 

 

When Connor pulled up to Evan’s house, they both got out, and Connor followed him inside. The house was small, but cozy. The TV was on, and a woman, presumably Evan’s mother, was sitting on the couch. 

 

“Mom, I-I’m home!” Evan called. 

 

“Hi Evan, oh, who’s this?” She asked, looking to Connor. 

 

“Th-This is Connor, my friend.” Evan replied. 

 

“Well hello Connor. How are you?” She asked. 

“I could be better.” He admitted. 

 

“Oh. What’s going on?” 

 

“My dad is forcing me into things that I don’t want to do, and just generally being an ass.” He said, flopping down onto the couch. 

 

“Well I’m sorry to hear about that.” 

  
Connor sighed and laid down. “Imma sleep here. Goodnight Evan, goodnight Ms. Hansen.” 

 

“Please, call me Heidi.”

 

“Alright.”

 

And with that, Connor fell asleep. 

 

In the morning, Connor woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. He stood and cracked his back, wincing as he worked out the crick in his neck. He got up and strolled into the kitchen. Evan was standing in front of the stove, flipping pancakes. 

 

“Hey Ev.” He said, leaning against the doorframe. Evan jumped and turned around. 

 

“O-Oh! Hey Connor!” He greeted cheerfully. 

 

“Whatcha making?”

 

“Pancakes. I already made eggs and bacon. Also, I got a text from Miles. We don’t have to be at the studio today.” 

 

Connor nodded. “Nice. Do you want to go out for ice cream?” 

 

Evan smiled. “Y-Yeah. You’ll order for me again, right?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll do whatever you want, bud.”

 

The two sat down to eat breakfast, sneaking glances at each other. By the time breakfast was over, they were just sitting there smiling at each other. Connor grabbed his keys and held the door open for Evan to walk through. They both climbed into the car and drove down to A La Mode, an ice cream place that Connor said him and his family used to go to before everything fell apart. They walked up to the counter, where they were greeted with a smiling man in a uniform. 

 

“Flavors?” He asked. 

 

Connor turned to Evan. 

 

“C-Cookie dough…” He said. Connor nodded. 

 

“Pecan for me, cookie dough for him.” 

  
“Cone or bowl?”

 

Evan whispered something to Connor. 

 

“Cone for me, bowl for him.”

 

The man behind the counter nodded and gave them their ice cream. The two sat down at a booth, across from each other. 

 

“So, why do you eat ice cream out of a bowl?” Connor asked. 

 

“So it doesn’t get all over my hands, and make them sticky. What if I have to shake hands with someone?! Then my hands will be all sweaty and sticky, and it’ll be weird.” Evan explained. 

 

Connor simply nodded. “I get it. I like eating it out of a cone since I feel like you don’t get the full ice cream experience if you don’t. Not that there’s anything bad about eating it out of a bowl, I just like it out of the cone better.” 

 

Evan nodded back at him. “I get it.” He parroted. 


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

 Sorry about this not really being an actual update, but there are some things I wanted to get into.

 

OK, this fic has **not** been abandoned. I just have really bad writer's block and don't know how to continue it, especially with my newfound love for Heathers and Hamilton. This is just on a temporary hiatus until I can get back to writing it. I might open a one shot book for some Heathers Genderbend stuff to help combat the writer's block.

 

Until next time,

Ram


End file.
